An apology

I have not updated and I apologize. I have been a very sad little girl. Depression is a real thing and it is a real bitch…

I was let go from my receptionist job and have been unemployed since then.

As if that weren’t enough of a blow to my self esteem, I have been gaining weight and getting painfully achy…
I have been unmotivated and uninspired.

I have had all the time in the world to get shit done and I have squandered it.

For that I must ask for forgiveness. Though I cannot forgive myself.

A thousand good and horrible ideas have flown in and out of my mind. I have let them go…

OH GOD WHY...

We took a weekend daytrip down to the coast. That was fun but opened a huge can of worms once I saw the pictures. I hated what I saw! I had honestly fancied myself quite good looking in the new dress I had bought. But I really looked like some kind of giant naval pole…

As I am writing this tomorrow is Saturday. Justin and I are going to a party in the evening and I hope I can figure out what to wear so I don’t look like a blimp. (Or feel that I look like a blimp)

Thank you for reading and I hope that you have a wonderful day!!!

Not a very Happy Halloween

Mark is sick. He got a cold!
(and after i spent $50 on his costume, next year he is a ghost! poke two eyeholes in an old bed sheet and that will be that... )
We were supposed to meet up with Justin's sister and her family and friends to go trick-or-treating in their nice neighborhood. But we will have to wait to see them later in the month for our trip to IKEA. (momma wants a new bed!!!)

The Perfect Brownie?!?!

(I was not paid or compensated to do this. I was hungry mostly)


Perfect Brownies!

Did that get your attention? It certainly got mine!

It seemed to be a bit too good to be true; I mean who doesn’t love brownie sides??? No one, that’s who…

J and I were perusing a local HEB and saw this in the clearance shelf. $9.00!!! Can’t say no to the normally $20 dollar product.

J and I are big fans of as seen on TV products, so the chance to get this at about half off was too much of a bargain to pass up!



$9.00!!!



After a small tussle in which only the cat came out of looking ok, I took the pan home and set to work…

I made some yummy Ghirardelli brownies (thank you Costco!!!)

Here are the results, they look yummy, the separator worked as promised. The cooling rack/presentation thingy worked like it should as well.

mmmmmmmmmm

HOWEVER!!! The brownie sides were disappointing, the actual normal sides were not very crusty, and I love the crusty parts of the brownies!!! Crispy chewy heaven it is!!!

HOWEVER, the sides that were cooked inside of the pan were exactly the same. So yes all the brownies had sides… But the sides were disappointing!!!



The Inside Side



The "Real" Outside Side





Let me repeat the sides were all crusted but the crust was very sad and pathetic and not full of crunchy glory like they were presented on the commercial.



Now, the things were delicious and every brownie was cooked properly. I will give them that. Each brownie looked exactly like the other and there really was no way of telling which ones were of the true sides and which were from the middle of the pan.

Now do I recommend this?

Well, no. it’s a waste of money really. If you are just cooking some to have some now then have some later then have some more later (hopefully not all in the same day...  Like I did... Stop judging me!!!!)

Now if you are someone who loves to take borides to parties or to other people’s houses (yea just bring random people brownies and hope they don’t think you are weird), the presentation rack is AWESOME! I would recommend getting it, cause at parties, no one cares which brownie they get (unless you are me, then embarrass yourself and your kid cause you want a side brownie)!

For now I think that I will save money to get the Think Geek All Sides Brownie Pan 

A Further Disussion of Mark and Amanda

Hello.

Well I have a few other blogs around, but I felt the need to start one chronicling the life of my son and I. Mark is autistic, and this is a hard concept for me to grasp.

I don’t know much about it, but the more I know the more I can share about what it means to be the parent of an autistic child.

I consider myself very lucky; he functions quite well and is quite social. So to that I am very grateful.

He takes his time to hit milestones that children his age have mastered. When he gets them, he is amazing at it. He seems to be about 6 to 9 months behind others his age. His first steps, his first words, and the first time he looked at me and called me Mama; all were late, but he did it!

Currently he is 3 years old, and is attending half day school right now. The socialization is wonderful; he loves his classmates and his teachers.

At first his teachers were thinking that he is ADHD (just like his mommy), but now they are confident that he is in the autistic spectrum.

You can tell when he is overwhelmed; he will throw himself to the floor and shake his head in a violent way as to cause injury to him and whoever is around him at the time. His tantrums are much worse than any other children's that I have ever seen; he does little tasks often and will repeat them until he passes out. He cannot communicate to us without a lot of interpretation on my part. Despite that fact that he is spoken to all the time, he refuses to use words as we know them. He has only just now began to use 'down' and 'more please'. He has passing obsessions. He used to LOVE this TV show called "Dinosaur Train”, which is all that he would watch or care about. Now it scares his to the point where he will grab the TV remote and give it to me to change the channel. Currently his big thing is "Thomas the Tank Engine"; I hope this one lasts longer.

He absolutely loves technology, he figured out at 1 year old, how to open my iphone and play a game (that I no longer have sadly) now he loves to open the phone and call my boyfriend. :) (Daddy, daddy) He loves my computer and loves to watch me play video games (he prefers Mirror's Edge right now), he finds me playing WOW fascinating, he will stay quiet and stares intensely as I run through mobs or fly around.  He has even figured out how to get my character to move around when I am not at the computer.

I love him with all my heart. He is an amazing child. When he looks me in the eye and says "Hi Mama" everything is alright.

About me, Amanda. Well I am 25 and currently unemployed. In June I was fired from my job at a local financial institution for not meeting sales goals (I am not a seller, especially pushing to little old ladies but that are another story for another time). Currently I am on state assistance but cannot wait until I get a job and can get off of it. It all goes to him and anything left over goes to me, I would rather starve then see him uncomfortable. Luckily he does not need to see the doctor except for the checkups that is required of all children and their parents (and shots as well. until I can see proof that vaccines are giving children autism or anything, he will get them, they do so much more good than any harm at all). I on the other hand have severe allergies and PCOS that has gotten horrible (I have ovarian cysts that are just horrible to deal with and cause me great pain when I have my period). I don’t want to use the doctor too much until I have my own job.

I have a boyfriend (J) who I lovely and loves my son. He is not my son's father but wishes to take the role on when we get married. I don’t want to take advantage of him, so I do what I can to not ask him for help with anything. He does help by paying for my phone bill and occasionally giving me gas money if I am desperate for it. We are about an hour away from each other but still try to get together every Monday for date nights. Today is actually our 2 year anniversary, yay!!! He is always there for me, and I love him for it.

Mark and I live with my parents on a small piece of land in a small home that mom and dad built. I am very lucky to have them in my life, they allow us to stay for little to nothing, I am so grateful. I do what I can to help out, cleaning, cooking, buying them food and giving them what money I have for rent. They watch Mark during the day when I am out looking for a job. They are great people!

Well this was just an overview of mark and my life just to let you know what this blog will be about. I am grateful he is not full on autistic but he is within the spectrum and he and I will have to learn how to cope.

Thank you for reading this if you got this far.
Have a beautiful day!!!